Divine Retribution
by Raeror
Summary: Sooner or later, Death comes calling to all.
1. In Which The Devil Hosts the Unwelcomed

Emilia Justina walked into the door of Devil's Castle. "Listen guys, my microwave broke, so I'm going to have to eat here now for a while."

"Never was your excuse before." Sadao Maou said between a bite of food. "Chino made curry tonight. Little bit on the spicy side, but I'm Satan, so I've had hotter."

"I figured that." Emilia sat down as Chiho greeted her and prepared her plate.

Emilia looked around the apartment. It was a little emptier than usual. "Speaking of Satan, where are your demons? Are they off running errands for Your Highness?"

"Since Urushihara almost drove us into the ground with that scam, Alciel and I decided to get him out more."

"Isn't he still wanted for the muggings he and Olba did?" Emilia pointed out.

"Yeah, so we changed up his appearance a little bit. Its a good thing that idiot made sure he wasn't seen too good, so we let him off the hook a little bit." Sadao responded.

"I say we kill him, so we don't have to worry about him anymore." Emilia said as Chiho laid out a bowl of curry for her. "Wow Chiho, this looks delicious, thanks!"

"Well I would let you kill him, but we saw how that went last time." Sadao responded with a smirk.

"You wanna go?!" Emilia slammed her hands on the table. "Forget about Lucifer, I could kick your ass right now!"

"Please don't fight over the table. You will make a mess." Suzano said, vainly trying to stop the too from fighting.

"All I'm saying is that for a Hero, you sure never finish a lot of enemies do you?" Sadao said, completely delighted in Emilia's frustration.

"If this spoon was a knife, I swear to God I would slit your throat right here right now." She looked down at her food. "You know what, after this bowl of curry, me and you outside and we settle this once and for all! How's that for finishing things?!" She yelled.

Sadao gave her a look and then calmly had another spoonful of curry. "I'd win, since we have to go down the stairs to get outside. You can't even finish a flight of stairs. For shame, Hero. For shame."

Emilia felt her blood boil. She instantly leaped over the table and onto Sadao, clenching her hands around his throat to straggle him. "GOT ANYTHING GOOD TO SAY NOW TOUGH GUY?!" She yelled, throttling him.

The door to the apartment opened, and in came Alciel, carrying Lucifer over his shoulder. "Master! We have returned!" He said triumphantly.

"Good." Sadao said, getting Emilia off of him. "So, how was basketball?"

"I am proud to report that I had an excellent performance. The humans were giving me such compliments like 'lockdown, boss.' and 'put the D on 'em!'"

He set Urushihara down, who was absolutely exhausted. "Never...again." Lucifer said between gasps of air.

Suzano looked at Urushihara. Urushihara's hair was no longer covering half of his face, and was instead tied back into a nice purple ponytail. "So that's the difference Sadao was alluding too."

"Not gonna lie, he does look different when he's not full emo." Emilia said.

"Contrary to Lucifer's behavior right now, he perform excellent on the court as well." Alciel said. "He was very good at taking the ball and putting in in the hole. Especially from long distance. I was... not so fortunate."

"So what's wrong with him now?" Chiho said.

"One game because six hours. Straight." Urushihara said.

"Basketball games go on for that long?" Sadao asked.

"Believe me they don't." Urushihara said. "But Michael Jackass over here decided to play game, after game, after game, after game... all of that running up and down takes it toll on you after a while."

"Alciel looks just fine." Sadao said. "He even carried you home. I imagined he carried you on the court too."

"All he did was stand under the rim half the time! I was constantly moving around."

"Well as long as you got some exercise and off of a computer for five minutes, I'm happy. Now go shower. I don't want your smell around my food."

"But I'm starving! Can I at least eat first-"

"Shower. Now." Sadao said.

Urushihara didn't ask further, quickly getting his stuff ready and hopping in the shower.

"So, when are you going back?" Chiho asked Alciel.

"I make go back tomorrow actually. It depends on how I feel in the morning." Alciel said, taking his food and moving over to the corner.

"Not only does keeping Urushihara off of the computer save us from his idiocy, it also keeps the electric and wifi bill down. Don't be surprised if i have you babysitting him more."

"I shall be up for the task master!" Alciel beamed. "I too see the important of keeping Lucifer active and about. Say, I was looking at the paper, and they are making there will be a play for 'The Phantom Of The Opera.' this week. Perhaps we can go-"

The lights in the apartment suddenly went out.

"The hell?" Sadao said, standing up.

"Did you forget to pay the electric bill this month Master?" Alciel asked.

"No, I don't think so?" Sadao said. "I'll go check the box." Sadao tripped over a leg, and landed hard on something, face first.

"GET OFF MY CHEST YOU PERVERT!" Emilia yelled.

"Trust me! That was not my first option to land on. There isn't exactly any padding."

"SHUT UP YOU CREEP!" Emilia swung as hard as she could, but hit her fist against the stove. "OW THAT HURTS!"

"Hahahahaha! Its dark so you can't see me!" Sadao mocked, right before Emilia socked him in the chin.

"I CAN HEAR YOU MORON! NOW GO PUT THE POWER BACK ON!

"OW! ALRIGHT I'LL DO IT! Someone give me a flashlight."

Chino handed him the flashlight. "Here you go! Good luck!"

"Thanks."

Walking down to the basement, Sadao went to the power box.

"That's strange, everything's turned off." Sadao murmured, switching everything back on. "Why would anyone cut the power off?"

A shock went through his body, dropping him to his knees.

 _M-M-Magic._ He thought to himself, a chill running down his spine.

He dashed back upstairs. _Whoever that is, they aren't playing around, and with that kind of magic, we're in trouble!_

He slammed open the door to Devil's Castle. "Guys its a trap! Someone from Ente Isla is-"

Everyone was slumped over on the floor. They had glassy eyes, and didn't appear to be breathing...

 _No._ Sadao said in horror. _They can't be dead. No. No PLEASE! NO!_

"Hello Demon King Satan." A voice said. "We need to talk."

Sadao turned to face the figure behind him. He was wearing a tall man in all back, three piece suit. Raven-black fair flowed down his hair, which contrasted with his pale white skin For someone with such incredible power, he looked quiet young, no more older than Alciel. He carried a mug that had steam coming from the top.

Despite the chill still in his body, Sadao was furious. "WHO ARE YOU?!" He shouted. "AND WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO MY FRIENDS?!"

The man looked at him, and then took a sip of his drink. "I'm Death, King Satan. And I'm here on behalf of God."


	2. In Which The Devil and Death Make a Deal

"Do you mind if I come in?" Death asked.

Sadao, quite terrified, opened his door and let Death in. The icy chill Sadao felt as Death walked past him almost dropped him to his knees. _He's real._ Sadao thought to himself. _Death as an entity is_ _real._

"Sorry about that." Death said, looking at Sadao shiver fervently. "Death's cold embrace isn't just a saying, I'm afraid. I find myself constantly trying to stay warm in the realms of mortals." He sipped more of his drink, which Sadao saw was piping hot tea.

"So, what do you want from me?" Sadao asked.

"It's time for you to die, King Satan."

Sadao felt his heart skip a few beats. He fell silent in shock.

"I-I-I have to die?"

"Your death is demanded all across the land. The people of Ente Isla won't rest soundly until your head is on a mantle."

"I'm not coming back. I have no ambition to ever return to Ente Isla." Sadao spat back. "I like it here much better than when I was in Ente Isla. Tell the people that they can get a good night's sleep. King Satan won't ever be back for them. And tell the Angels in Heaven to fuck off too."

"Well you see, that's not the way this works." Death started pacing around the room, stepping over Sadao's fallen friends. "Under your reign, millions of people were slaughtered in your conquest of Ente Isla. You have war crimes to pay."

"That was a different life. I've started over."

"And what about the millions of dead that lie scattered in Ente Isla? And the people they left behind? Can they just start over too?"

"Well what does killing me now accomplish? It won't make a difference at this point. All you are doing is satisfying the people's thirst for revenge. And last time i checked, revenge isn't exactly very holy."

"The point," Death slowly stepped toward Sadao. "is to show that no one get's off scott-free. Now matter how powerful, no matter how far you run, no matter where you hide, God's wrath will follow you and strike you down."

"What about all of the good I've done here? I repaired the city, even after it was destroyed. I protected this world."

"The same world sought refuge in. The battles would have never occurred if you weren't here. And while you did fix all the messes you created, that does not erase your previous sins."

Death stared him down with eyes so black Sadao felt pulled into a void of infinite darkness. His entire body trembled at Death's gaze. _The Heir._ Sadao thought to himself. A fight was not an option. Sadao was hopelessly out-matched.

"Did you think they had forgotten?" Death asked. "Did you think they had...forgiven?"

"No." Satan replied. "I didn't think of them at all."

He raised his hands in surrender. "You win. Kill me, reap my soul or whatever you do. I'm not going to fight you. BUT," he took a step back. "I want to make a deal."

Death raised an eyebrow. "What kind of deal?"

"In exchange for my complete and utter surrender, you keep my friends alive and seal the portal to this world. I don't want any more angels or demon or anything else to come through to here. My friends are going to stay safe."

Death stroked his chin as he thought it over. "Satan throwing his life away to preserve his friends? My my. Is that your final offer?"

"Yes."

"Then its a deal." Death outstretched his hand. "Shake on it."

Sadao met the handshake, shivering at Death's icy grip.

"As much as I appreciate your compliance, I will not end your life myself." Death said.

"Then how am I going to die?"

"You shall die at the hands of the Church of Ente Isla." Death said.

"You want me to lay die my life so those dogs can get a hero's cheer?" Sadao said furiously. "Screw that! You want to deal with sinners? Take care of those bastards first!"

"The church will be dealt with." Death said. "That does not pardon your actions, however. You will die by the Church's hands, and that is final."

"When? Now?" Sadao asked. No, no he wasn't ready. It couldn't be now. He felt the magic flow through his fingers. Death wasn't taking him without a fight first. But still, Death's overwhelming power...

"No, not today." Death said. "Sometimes I give people one last burst of energy before their final breath. It's called God's Last Gift. It allows them to get their affairs in order, talk with friends and family one last time, and say goodbye. You don't need that energy burst however. I'm only here to notify you of your limited time left."

Death looked past Sadao to the clock. "It is 8:40 right now. I'll give you two weeks to midnight. That seems fair. Two whole weeks and a few extra hours to prepare yourself."

Death turned around. "And now that that is settled, I really must be going. I'll be seeing you very soon Mr. Satan, take care."

And with that, Death walked out of Devil's Castle.


	3. In Which The Devil Abandons His Friends

Emi woke up in a daze. There was a heavy pounding on her head and her entire body felt drained. "What the..." She slowly rose to her feet. "The hell happened last night?" She looked around at everyone slowly coming to. Including Urushihara, who was groggily stepping out the shower-

"URUSHIHARA, PUT THAT THING AWAY RIGHT NOW!"

Emi took the pot of curry and chucked it right at Urushihara, who quickly ducked back into the bathroom. "SORRY!" He screamed.

The damage was already done. The memory of Urushihara walking towards her with his floppy disk out was seared in her brain forever. _People take alcohol to forget things, right? How much booze is it gonna take to wipe my mind clean?  
_

Alciel scanned the room for Sadao, unable to find him. "My lord, where are you?" He looked at the door and saw a note on it. _"Going to get milk. I'll be back - Sadao"_

"I bet that asshole has something to do with the reason for why we were all laid out last night!" Emi hissed.

"You watch your tongue! You have no proof of anything!" Alciel shouted back before looking in the fridge. "See? We are in need of milk indeed! I bet King Satan shall be back at any moment now!"

"Then how do you explain what happened? One second we were eating, then the power goes out, and we all end up knocked out on the floor! And when we wake up, the Devil is gone! I didn't see him leave, did you?"

"Maybe some sleep-causing magic did it! Some errant celestial force perhaps?"

"Why would celestial force-"

"Actually, it was this." Suzano held up her container of curry powder. Peeling back the label, there was a second label underneath. "'Night-Night' sleeping powder, go out in minutes." She dropped her head in shame. "My apologies, it was my fault. I should have known that all curry powder was brown."

"Who put that curry power label over that sleeping powder, and why?" Emi asked. "Wait, I already know that first part, but why would Sadao do that?"

"Now wait just a angel-picking minute!" Alciel protested. "You have no proof whatsoever that King Satan is responsible for any of this! Was he responsible for the lights going out too?"

"Now that you mention it, I'm not gonna leave his name out of the conversation!"

"How dare you? After everything he has done for you, you still distrust him at every turn!"

"I'm just using common sense here! That note on the door doesn't have a time on it, does it? He could have been gone for hours now, doing God know what!"

"I know my master, and I know that he is completely innocent of every single on of your accusations! He will tell you that himself when he arrives home!

Emi checked the clock. "I'll deal with him when I get back from work then. I gotta go."

Chiho popped up too. "Oh no! I have to go too! I hope I'm not late."

"Maybe King Satan had to take a detour and decide to not be late for MgRonald's! You can't put that out of the question." Alciel said as Emi got her jacket on.

"We'll see." She mumbled as she stepped out of the door. "We'll see."

* * *

Rika Suzuki turned to her co-worker. "Are you okay Emi? You were on edge all day."

"No, I'm okay." Emi tried to deny.

"You got short with the customers all day. And every now and again you give a little passive-aggressive comment. Sooner or later you're going to snap on the wrong customer and you'll be in trouble with management. What's wrong?"

"It's nothing. I just gotta... move past it. Shift's over anyway, time to head out."

"Is it about your boyfriend? You having some relationship problems?"

Emi's face blazed with anger. "He's not my boyfriend! He is the pain in my ass right now though."

"I'm sure whatever is wrong isn't so important that it should throw you off of your work. I'll tell you what: have a break from him one night. Hang out at my place. I'll even get you something to eat."

"Thanks for the offer, but I really need to meet with Sadao. Some other time."

"Oooh. The love-hate relationship continues."

"Don't push it. See you tomorrow." Emi said as she walked out of Docodemo.

As she approached Devil's Castle, she balled her fist. _Time to kill the little bastard._ She swung the apartment door open. "What the hell happened last night you son of a-"

Sadao Mao wasn't there. Everyone else was, perking up at the sight of him. "Emilia, you have returned!" Suzano said.

"Emi! Did King Satan come with you?!" Alciel stood straight up.

"N-No. He hasn't come home yet? I thought he'd be back by now!"

Emi's hosts fell silent. The horror on their faces gave Emi her answer. "I knew it! I told you! I knew he was up to something!" Seeing Alciel's worried face made Emi tone it down a little. _I'll gloat later after I pound the Devil's face in._

"Oh my God. This is bad. This is really bad." Urushihara said. "There goes our hope of what Chiho said being anything good."

"The-The hell's going on here?" Emi responded. "What did Chiho say?!"

"Mr. Mao came into MgRonald's today." Chiho started, failing at holding back tears.

"That's good right? You saw him today! What's wrong?"

"He came in, handed in his two-week notice, and walked out. And this was before I got there."

"HE'S QUITTING MGRONALD'S?!"

"He said his father in Greenland was sick and maybe dying, so he was getting ready to leave Japan. He recommended me to take his place."

"What time did he come in?"

"I think 5 AM?"

"So his last known time we have of him is 5 AM. It's almost 9:30 PM. Where was he all day? What was he doing all this time? Has he mentioned anything that could possibly help us find him?"

"Not a thing."

"Lucifer, can you find him on your computer or something?"

"Maybe if he had a cell phone, I could have tracked him on that. Being poor has its advantages if you're on the run."

"So you're useless, of course. Ugh. Let me think about this."

"We don't have time to think. We need to go file a missing persons report right now!" Alciel grabbed her hand and yanked her up.

"A missing persons report isn't going to help! If Sadao doesn't want to be found, we won't find him."

"Buy why? Why wouldn't he want to be found?"

Emi paused for a minute. What was Sadao planning? Was he trying to bring demons to this world? Was he planning to return to Ente Isla? Even if he wouldn't tell her, he would certainly tell Alciel. Alciel had to know _something_ , right?

Emi looked right into Alciel's eyes. Concern, fear, panic. There was real terror in the heart of the Great Demon General Alciel. Either that or Alciel was a damn good actor. For once, Emi decided to trust her demons.

"I don't know buddy." She said softly.

Alciel looked at her for a second and then sunk to his knees. "I just don't understand." Tears started falling down his face. "Why would he do this do us? He could call us. Something. Anything. I just want to know he's okay."

"Maybe he has a good reason." Emi hugged the big man from behind. Even if she didn't believe what she was saying, it seemed to calm Alciel down.

"You really thing so?" Alciel looked at him.

"Of course." Emi lied right between her teeth. "Besides, I'm sure he'll come home soon. Get some sleep. I'm this is gonna be over soon. I'm going home. See you later."

* * *

Rika answered the knock on her door. "Oh hi Emi!"

"I decided to take you up on your offer."

There's some pizza in the over. Rika settled down on the couch. "So, what made you change your mind?"

"Didn't feel like being alone tonight. Certainly wasn't planning on it."

"So what happened with you and the boyfriend? Sounds like there was some problem right as you two were starting to get frisky."

"Rika! That's not what happened in the slightest. He just wasn't coming-"

"Dear God Emi, how bad of a lover are you?"

"Not like that! He didn't come home tonight. And now we're all freaking out."

"Maybe he's waiting at your place, and he has himself handcuffed to your bed, just waiting for you to show up."

"Are you going to keep this up all night?!"

"No. There's a pill for that now."

"Rika! This is serious!"

"Okay. I'm done. I'm done. Did you tell the police?"

"Something tells me that won't help."

"Won't hurt to try." Rika turned on the news. _"_ _Tonight's News: New Fishing Taxes and a Major Roadway Pileup coming, but we begin tonight with tonight's top story: Yakuza Shootout! Police responded to-"_

"Ugh, why is nothing good ever on the news?" Rika turned it off in disgust.

"Uh, Rika, I'm going out for a quick walk. I just need to clear my head."

"Alright, just be back in time for the pizza, or I might just eat your slices." Rika teased.

Walking around Rika's neighborhood, Emi's head was in the clouds. Sure Satan could be unpredictable at times, but at least _someone_ (usually Alciel) knew about it. If Satan is really going rouge, either he was all by himself, or some unknown person, presumably from Ente Isla, had gotten to him. No. He can take care of himself. What would warrant for Satan to not tell anyone? To just go running off in the middle of the night?

"Listen you little asshole," Emi said into the night. "I don't know what the hell you are up to, but this.. all of this, is unnecessary. Get your ass home, and we can work this all out. Alciel's worred, Chiho's worried, Lucifer's worried, Suzano's worried, hell, even I'm worried about you. You better get back, and you better have a damn good reason for all of this."


	4. In Which The Devil's Friends Go Out

Hanzo Urushihara awoke to the smell of sweet, delicious, strawberry.

And fire. Mostly fire. Fire bad. Fire very bad.

Stirring at the smell of the smoke, Lucifer scrambled out of his box and looked for the source.

"Oh, good morning Lucifer!" Alciel greeted him with a smile. "I didn't expect you to be up so early! I was just finishing making breakfast!"

"Alciel? What are you doing? The kitchen is a mess! There's pancake batter everywhere, the stove is turned up way too high for pancakes, and-Oh. My. God." Lucifer's attention turned from the messy kitchen to Alciel's face. His eyes were sunken with bloodshot-red and his skin was flushed. "Did you go to sleep last night?"

"Well I tried, but I couldn't stop thinking about Lord Satan, so I decided to start cooking!"

"Holy crap Alciel, are you serious?!" Lucifer popped up. "Dude you need sleep. Right now."

"I'll try to sleep again after I'm done with these pancakes!" Alciel quickly flipped a pancake over, causing a splatter on the pan. "Whoops! How clumsy of me." Alciel's hands and arms kept shaking."

"Alciel, stop. I'll take care of breakfast. Just go lie down. Please." Lucifer took the pan and spatula from Alciel. Alciel tried to resist, but his exhausted body gave away to the lowly NEET.

"Are-Are you sure?" He asked.

"Yes." Lucifer said. "Get some Z's man. You've earned it. Give yourself a break.

"You know, you don't have to wear your hair like that anymore. You can go back to the way you liked it." Alciel took the hair tie off of Lucifer, and Lucifer's hair swooped back over his eye.

"Thanks, I think?" Lucifer responded. _That was random._

"So is there _anything_ else I can help you with? maybe I can-"

 _Oh no, not this. The give an inch, take a mile trick._ "Just get some sleep Alciel! I know you're worried about Satan, but you are burning yourself out."

"I was hoping he would come in the middle of the night, but I guess not. But still, I just know he'll come back soon. I should really wait for him."

"I'll wait for him. It's not like I've got a job. Here, do you want something to eat?"

"No. I'm not hungry." Alciel looked around. "Here, let me just wash the dishes before I go to-"

"Go to sleep, Alciel! I've got it."

"Al-Al-Alright then. See you later."

Suzano came in. "Good morning. Has the Devil come home yet?" Seeing the kitchen, she took a step back and whipped out her hammer. "Where there a battle here?"

"There was no battle here, and no, Maou didn't come home. Alciel can prove it." Lucifer said bitterly. "He hasn't slept all night. I'm just sending him to bed."

"He should not be abusing his body like that." Suzano put away her hammer. A drop of pancake batter fell from the ceiling in front of her.

"I know, right?" Lucifer started cleaning up. "You know, he didn't waste all of it. A few good ones are in here. And he didn't really mess with the berries. Pancakes and fruit?" Lucifer offered. "I'm cleaning it up anyway. No use doing it on an empty stomach.

"Yes. Thank you."

They both quietly sat down at the table as to not disturb Alciel any more than he already was.

"So, why do you think King Satan has suddenly left?" Suzano asked.

"My guess? He planned something and forgot to tell anyone."

"You don't think he's in some trouble, do you? A surprise attack, perhaps?"

"If any angel was fighting him, we would have felt the power of a fight resonate. Besides, he's the Devil. You've seen him in action. He can take care of himself."

"True. However, from the way you all described his attachment to MgRonald's, doesn't it trouble you that he would give a two weeks notice to quit?"

"That's the only thing that bothers me. I don't see him quitting that job for anything good. My personal theory is that he got kidnapped by fast food ninjas, and brainwashed into quitting MgRonald's, and is currently being prepared for a much higher-up job by some other fast food titan."

"Honestly, that sounds like a _good_ scenario, all things considered."

"I try to be optimistic."

"So, what are we going to do about Alciel?"

"I have no idea."

"Should we try to go out looking for King Satan today?"

"Looking for a demon in a haystack with Alciel? He would probably jump on anyone who looks like King Satan. And when we probably fail, it's only going to make him feel even worse."

"Still, I feel like we should get him out of Devil's Castle."

"Yeah. Maybe we can go grocery shopping? And after that do a little sight-seeing?"

"That sounds plausible."

"I'll go see how much money we have."

"Go call Emi too. I'm not sure if we're gonna be able to keep a lid on Alciel all by ourselves."

* * *

"Hey Ayshiya, they got milk on sale." Urushihara put the gallon of milk into the cart.

"That's nice." Alciel apathetically said as he slowly pushed the cart around.

"Here Alciel! More exotic ingredients that you can cook with! I know you've been meaning to expand your cooking talents." Emi dumped an armload of stuff into the basket.

"This isn't workin,." Suzano whispered to Urushihara and Emi.

"Ugh, you're right. I didn't want to do this, but I guess I have no choice." He looked up at the lights. "Dear Lord, forgive me, for I am about to sin."

Alciel looked down to see Urushihara tugging on his shirt. "Hey Ashiya, I know you're upset, but we can't get depressed now. We have to stay ready for when Sadao comes back! Do you really want him coming back to a run down and barren castle after being away?"

Ayshiya's eyes lit up. "By Jove, you're right! What have I been thinking? Now that Master's away, I should prepare for his return!"

Ashiya sped off down the aisle, almost running over patrons.

Urushihara walked back over to the girls, wearing a disgusted face. "I feel unclean after saying that. My mouth, my mouth is full bile."

"You did make him feel better." Emi said.

"But I hate to get his hopes up and things to go wrong later, like they always do."

"Frankly, I'm just trying to get through today. We'll work later out when later comes."

"Oh, Ashiya, is it? I didn't expect to see you here!"

"Is that Rika?" Emi gasped. "Oh no, please don't make a scene..."

"Well I'm just doing some Saturday shopping. I am the housekeeper, it is my job."

"Emi said that your friend Maou had gone missing. I'm sorry to hear that, are you okay?"

"I'm doing my best to push past it and keep to my house duties. I'm sure everything will work itself out in the end."

"Well I'm glad you're feeling okay."

"Thank you for your concern."

"I like it when I guy can stay on his duties no matter what comes his way. I think it shows that he's tough." She gave him a warm smile.

"Flirting. Code Red. Code Red. This is not a drill. I repeat this is not a drill." Urushihara said as he, Suzano, and Emi started running ahead.

"Hey Rika! We lost Ashiya for a second there. You should really learn to stop _wandering_ away from us like that, _buddy._ " Emi socked Ashiya in the arm.

"Well Ashiya, if you need to get out of the house, how about we go out tonight? I found coupons for half off one night of bowling. Maybe all of us can go? How about tonight at 7?"

 _Nope. Nope Nope. Not gonna happen._ Emi stepped between them. "Gee, I'm not sure if Ashiya can make it. We kind of have stuff we need to do tonight."

"Maou being gone really has affected us the past few days. I think we should go." Suzano said.

"It would be a nice change of pace." Urushihara agreed. "Sure, why not?"

 _YOU KNOW DAMN WELL WHY NOT!_ Emi thought. "Ashiya, you know nothing about bowling. Are you really sure you want to do this?"

"Bowling is easy. We might not be experts, but its simple to knock some pins down." Rika pointed out.

"Oh, I suppose if it's alright with you guys." Ashiya said.

"We do have a 3-1 majority," Urushihara said. "Come on, let's have ourselves a good time."

"Alright Rika, I'll see you at 7."

"I'll swing by your place to pick you up around 6:30. Later."

"Wait! What should I wear?" Ashiya asked.

"Something casual. What you have on now is perfect!"

As Rika walked away to the register, Emi was ready to strangle three necks with two hands. Alciel had the biggest neck, he was going to require a whole hand. Hopefully she can choke out Suzano and Lucifer in the other. "Why on Earth would you even THINK about accepting a date?!"

"Emi, Ashiya needs to get out the house. We don't know when Maou is coming back. It's no use just waiting for him. We might as well do something." Suzano reasoned.

"Do you not know who your dealing with?!" Emi aggressively kept pointing at Ashiya. "Do you know who bowling is for? _Normal, reasonable, sane people._ "

"That explains why you're single." Urushihara pointed out.

Emi grabbed a watermelon. "Why don't you shut up you piece of-"

"We are in _public._ " Suzano hissed. "Behave for once."

"Oh this can go wrong in so many ways. I need an aspirin. Or two. Or three million." Emi was starting to panic.

"They're in aisle six." Urushihara pointed.

As soon as they had paid for their groceries, Emi took out a box of cereal and started beating Urushihara over the head.

"What did I say?!" Suzano ripped the box out her hand. "Come on Emi. This could be fun."

"Give me my box back!" Emi said. "We already paid for it! I'm just using it! As is my right!"

"Not in public!" Suzano said.

"Wait, she not allowed to hit me only when we're in public?" Urushihara said.

"Yes." Suzano replied.

"If this is your way of trying to get me to go out more, I will say I'm considering it," Urushihara muttered.

"Why don't we all just head home? We have bowling to prepare for." Suzano pushed them along forward.

* * *

"I still can't believe you two accepted Rika's offer. Why? Just why?"

Urushihara, Emi, Chino, and Suzano were sitting in a cafe. It was around midday.

"Listen Emi, we gotta do something about Alciel." Urushihara said. "I don't want him in the apartment all day."

"You mean you don't want to deal with him inside the apartment all day." She snapped back.

"I don't think we're gonna be able to do anything until Maou comes back," Emi said. "You're doing this for you. Not Ayshia."

"Of course. Paint me the bad guy. What's your point? What am I supposed to be giddy at taking care of my depressed friend? I don't want this, and I don't want to see him like this. So we take him out. Problem solved."

"But what if something happens? Can you think responsibly for once? What if Ashiya slips up and uses magic or something? It's dangerous to take him out when he's that bad of a state of mind."

"Well we gotta try something! Something! Anything! I just want him to feel better, even if it's only for a few minutes." Urushihara took a few gulps of coffee. "You're not around him 24/7. He is a _mess._ He didn't sleep at all last night. I woke up this morning and saw him covered in burnt pancakes and pancake batter. He was trying to cook breakfast and ruined the kitchen. I spent all morning cleaning it up! Do you know how many orifices pancake batter can worm its way into?" Urushihara downed the rest of his cup. "Ugh. I needed this. I'm gonna go get some more."

"Urushihara is right though," Suzano said while Urushihara was in line. "We need to help Alciel. Preferably sooner rather than later."

"The only thing that's going to make Alciel better is Maou. We have to wait until he comes back." _If he comes back..._

"There has to be something that can keep Alciel busy for a while." Chino said. "We just have to find it."

Emi groaned and put her hands on her head. "So now we're going to spend the night _bowling._ What the hell even is bowling anyhow?"

"It's a game where you roll a bowl down a lane and try to knock all the pins down," Chino explained. "There are ten pins. You have two tries to knock them all down. If you knock them all down in one try, it's a called a strike. If you knock the all down in two tries, it's called a spare. If you don't knock them all down in two tries, it's called an open lane. Also there are these lanes at the sides called gutters. You don't want to roll the ball into those."

"That doesn't sound difficult. We could _try_ it." Suzano said.

"Oh, is that it?" Emi asked. "Bowling seems easy then. I get two tries for something I can do in one? This'll be a piece of cake!"

"So you've changed your mind on the bowling thing?" Urushihara said as he sat back down.

"Yep!" Emi beamed. "I'll knock them all down no sweat. Just keep Ashiya in line and follow my lead, and we'll get through this like normal people. Bowling, here we come!"

* * *

The group walked into Lucky Lanes Bowling Alley.

"Place looks kinda retro." Urushihara observed. "Not bad. I can dig it."

"Bowling used to be super popular in the 60s. Not so much anymore, but it's still a decent way to spend a night." Rika said.

"This seems simple enough." Emi aimed right down the center and rolled the ball down the lane, and it went zooming towards the pins. "There we go, there we go there we go..."

The balled rolled right into the gutter.

"WHAT?!" Emi screamed. "IT WAS GOING RIGHT DOWN THE LANE!"

"Don't worry about it. You get another shot." Urushiara said as the ball came back.

"That was just me getting used to it! I have it this time!" Snatching the ball up, Emi heaved it down the lane again.

Back into the gutter. 0.

"ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!" Emi reached for another ball.

"Emi, you already had your turn. You have to wait now!"

"I AM GOING TO KNOCK THOSE PINS DOWN IF ITS THE LAST THING I DO!"

"Emi. Public Place. Public Place." Suzano said.

"Ugh. Fine." Emi threw the ball down. Right on Urushihara's foot.

"OOOOOOOOOOOW MY FOOT! OH MY GOD THAT HURTS!" Urushihara, after screaming for about 2 minutes straight, grabbed his bowling ball off the rack. Hobbling on one foot, Urushihara rolled the ball down the lane, knocking down 7 pins.

"Lucky ass," Emi muttered.

"Come on Urushihara, pick up the spare!" Chino cheered on.

Hopping on one leg, Urushihara tried to aim it to knock down the last pins, but rolling the ball down took him off balance. Urushihara fell over as the ball rolled into the gutter.

"See? It's not as easy as it looks." Emi said.

"Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you..." Urushihara crawled back to his seat.

"Alright Alciel, your turn!"

Alciel, sliding away from a platter of untouched nachos, picked up the ball and rolled it down the lane.

Perfect strike.

"NO WAY!" Emi shouted. "HOW DID YOU DO THAT?"

"I just hit where the pins where." Alciel sighed.

"Well for starters, he had two usable feet," Urushihara said, trying to rub some feeling back into his toes.

"Alright, the rest of you, hurry up with your turns! I'm gonna knock all of those pins down! I swear it!"

Gutterball.

After Gutterball.

After Gutterball.

 _After. Gutterball._

Emi Yusa spent the next hour trying to roll a ball straight and failed each and every time.

She held her face in her hands and Ashiya made yet another strike. "Why? Why is this game so hard?"

"Emi! All we are doing is rolling ball down a lane! This isn't rocket science! I'm literally on one leg and I'm doing better than you!" Lucifer shouted.

Emi picked up her bowling ball. "This thing has to be broken. I just know it!"

"Sure. Blame the bowling ball."

Emi looked over every inch. A crack. A chipped off piece. Something had to be wrong. There was no way could be _this_ bad.

"Emi. It's your turn again."

"Wait. What? Already?" Emi looked up at the score. Last Frame. EMI: 0.

There was no way she was going to walk out of here without getting a single point.

"Emi. Here, let me help you." Rika offered, walking with Emi to the front of the lane.

"Now, just slowly roll be the ball forward Emi."

Emi released the ball and it barely hit the lane with a thud. It rolled down the center of the lane. Slowly. Slowly. Slowly...

Emi's eyes grew wide. "It's gonna hit. It's gonna hit. It's gonna hit!"

The ball started veering off ever so slightly as it got closer to the targets.

"No. Nonononono. Please please please please please!"

"Don't panic! It's too close to miss!" Rika said. "You're gonna do it Emi!"

The ball connected with the pin.

"Finally!" Emi said triumphantly. "I told you guys I could-"

The ball bounced off of the pin into the gutter.

"WHAT?!" Emi shouted. "WHAT?!"

"Emi look! The pin is wobbling! If it falls over, you get a point!"

The pin kept rocking back and forth, teetering, tottering...

and came to rest. Upright.

"AH DAMNIT!" Emi shouted. "WHY IS THIS HAPPENING?!"

"Alright. Emi. This is your last chance." Emi said. "Let's walk away from this with _something_."

Emi's final bowling ball rolled back out. She stared at it, hesitant to even touch it. "What am I doing wrong?"

"I-I-I don't know at this point," Rika said. "Just try to... imagine the pins are something that makes you angry."

"Something that makes me angry? Screw it. Why not."

Emi closed her eyes. She imagined the pins were...

were...

Sadao Maou's stupid fucking face.

How dare he leave them like this?

How dare he made them feel this way?

How dare he always treat her like crap!?

"Fuck you, for everything you've done, you pathetic son of a BITCH!" Emi roared, releasing the ball. Anger gave way to absolute pleasure as all the pins fell before her.

"Finally! I knocked them all down." She said with a massive smile. "Did you guys see that?"

Everyone in the bowling alley gave her a look of pure shock.

"Wait, why is everyone looking at me like that?"

"You are supposed to roll the ball down the lane." Urushiahara grimaced. "You sent it rocketing through the air at Mach 100 you complete and utter psychopath."

"Oh, I did?" Emi turned back around. There were a few chunks of bowling ball pins left scattered on the lane. "Oops, used a little bit too much power there."

"Why are you like this?" Suzano asked.

"And here come security," Urushihara muttered. "Great. Just great."

* * *

Emi was still fuming in the car when the group came outside. Ashiya was carrying a trophy. "They gave me this prize when I performed a "perfect game."" Ashiya said.

"Congrats." Emi said sarcastically.

"Well, we're free to go back anytime and see if you can do it again Ashiya." Rika said.

"Weeeeeell, everyone except Emi." Urushihara pointed out.

"Say another word and I am going to smack you." Emi hissed at him as everyone got into the car.

"Other than Emi, you guys aren't half bad. All of you scored in the mid - 100 range."

"I actually had a great time!" Chino said. "Their nachos were great."

"I wanted to get you out a bit." She beamed. "And you were amazing. First time ever, you have a perfect game? Are you being honest with me? Perfect games only come with tons of practice."

Alciel used to take out whole formations of troops with a single blast of dark magic. But he probably shouldn't say that. "I guess I've just always had a good eye for accuracy." He shrugged.

"Well whatever the case, I had a great time." Rika said. "And I hope you did too." She reached into her purse. Getting out a paper and pen, she hastily scribbled something on it and gave it to Ashiya. It was her phone number. "Call me if you're ever feeling lonely again, okay?" She leaned in and kissed him on the cheek. "Take care of yourself Ashiya. You're a wonderful person. I'm sure everything will turn out okay in the end."

"T-T-Thank you Rika. I'm sure everything will." Ashiya said, blushing a little.

"See you next time." Rika rolled up the window and drove off into the night.

"So what happened, big guy? What'd she say?"

She just said that she would like to do this again sometime. She even gave me her phone number to call her."

"Wow, really! That's great Ashiya!" Chino said.

 _No._ _Nononononononononononono. No._ Emi thought. _That's gonna stop right now._ It was bad enough that Rika had an interest in Alciel, but if they ended up becoming a couple... _No. No. No. No. No._

Emi stood up. "I don't-"

Suzano grabbed her arm. "Let him have this one. We'll talk about it tomorrow."

"But-"

"Look how happy he is. He hasn't been like that since Satan left. Just let him enjoy this for the moment. Please." Lucifer said.

Emi looked at Alciel while he was talking to Chino. It _was_ kind of a relief that he was in a better mood tonight.

"If anything happens because of this, I'm killing you both."

"Deal." Lucifer said before turning back to Alciel. "So Alciel, how'd you like tonight? Are you alright?"

"I was a little skeptical at first, but... yes. I do believe I enjoyed myself."

"And that's all that matters, man." Lucifer grinned. "All that matters."


	5. In Which The Devil's Friends Call

"I'm gonna be frank Emi," Emerada said. The Church is planning something big."

"Really? Now?!" Emi sat up from her bed, shocked. "What is it?"

"It's hush-hush on the details, but something is definitely going to happen. And It's going to happen soon." "Has anything happened on your end?"

"Maou went missing."

"The Devil went _missing?_ "

"He just upped and left one day. He hasn't done anything or we would have seen it on the news. The night he went missing, we were all just hanging out in the apartment. The lights went out, and I remember feeling really drained and just... passing out."

"You don't think he got kidnapped by the Church, do you?"

"They could have taken all of us if they wanted to. I know they want Better Half back. Why just him? I don't think it was the Chuch, but keep an eye on them."

"Alright. Let us know if you find the Devil again."

"I will. Hey, I gotta go. My shift starts soon. I'll talk to you soon."

"See you later Emilia."

Emi had a lot to think about on the way to work. The Church was up to something as Maou was still missing. Damnit. Perfect timing. As much as Emi hated to admit it, Maou had always been the one to do the heavy lifting in their fights. If assassins from the church or, God forbid another angel, came attacking now, it would be catastrophic.

"Are you okay?" Rika asked, noting Emi's expression.

"Y-Yeah, I'm fine." She responded. "I'm just a little distracted today, I guess."

"Don't worry, I get it," Rika said. "Just, make sure you take care of yourself, okay? I want you to be okay."

"Sure. Thanks for worrying about me." Emi expected another quip about Maou being her boyfriend, but it didn't come.

* * *

The phone in Devil's Castle rang out.

"Goddamnit, not more telemarketers," Lucifer grumbled. "We can't even afford their crap." He picked up the phone. "Hello?"

"Hanzo? Hi, it's Rika."

"Rika?" Lucifer wasn't expecting that. "Uh, Ashiya is out right now, but I'll tell him you called."

"Thanks. So, how are you taking this whole Maou being gone situation?"

"Oh, Maou?" Hanzo leaned against the wall. "I'm not sweating it. I'll know he'll be back."

"Well..." Rika fell silent. "What if... what if he doesn't?"

"What do you mean?" Hanzo replied.

"Hanzo, Tokyo isn't some rainforest or a desert. People don't go missing, they get _taken._ "

"So what you're telling me is that someone took Maou. And is holding him hostage." Lucifer sounded amused until he realized that he hadn't considered that.

"Hanzo, this might be hard for you to hear. but," Rika paused. "I, I, I think he's already dead."

"He's...dead?!" Lucifer repeated. _No._ The thought echoed in his mind. _No. No. Nonononononononononononon-_

 ** _Yes._**

Lucifer went quiet, fingers trembling, barely able to hold the phone.

"Nownownownownonow, I'm not saying he's definitely dead." Rika rushed out. Damnit, she scared him. So much for tactfulness. "Now I saw Ashiya made a missing person's report for him, and I know that the police will do all they can to find Maou. But...take it from me." Her voice got low again. "You need to, at, at least start to, prepare for the worst."

"L-Listen Rika." Lucifer was trying to maintain his composure. "I know he looks like a scrawny bag of toothpicks, but Maou is a lot stronger than he looks. He can handle himself against some street trash. Trust me."

"I'm-I'm sorry. I didn't mean to bother you, or scare you, or anything." She replied. "I just wanted to, too..." She didn't even know what to say next. Her mouth felt dry. "Look, don't tell Ashiya we had this conversation, okay? It'll only make him more worried."

"Don't worry, I won't," Lucifer said, more harshly than he intended.

"I'll... try to figure out other stuff for us to do." Rika sighed. "I gotta get back to work I'll call again soon. Bye Hanzo."

"Later Rika." As Hanzo put down the phone, he wiped his hand over his mouth.

Sariel was a very powerful angel. But there were stronger out there than that creepy little pervert. If they had taken Satan by surprise...

 _But what about us?_

Any angels strong enough to kill Satan would have been able to wipe the rest of the group out. Why wait? Better Half was right there with Emi. That's the prime concern of the angels, they didn't give a shit about humans.

"What the fuck is going on..."

* * *

"Hey, wanna go out for dinner tonight?" Rika said as she and Emi punched out of work for the day.

"I'd love to, but I really need to go check up on Ashiya and the others.

"I completely understand."

 _Now I can go check up on the others..._

She froze.

Sadou Maou was standing next to the public library.

He was wearing a disheveled suit. His facial hair was unkempt, growing something of a messy beard, but it definitely looked like him.

A briefcase was at his feet. He was leaning on the front of the designated smoking area, a puff of smoke escaping his lips.

"No way." She had to get closer. To make sure.

BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! The sound of the car horn erupted in the air.

Emi jumped back, not realizing she had stepped into traffic. "Shit!" She said. "Just let me get to hi-"

As she looked back at Maou, she realized she'd been spotted, him looking right back at her. _Oh shit._

They were both frozen, locked in each other's gaze. Neither one of them found words to speak. Maou had an initial look of shook, but the longer Emi looked, the more it turned to sadness, and...fear.

"Maou..."

"You may now cross!" The street sign said.

Maou snapped out of it, picking up his briefcase and went tearing down the street.

"What?!" Emi couldn't believe it. "You get BACK HERE!" She shouted, chasing right after him. Pushing people left and right out of here way, Emi was about 3 seconds away from pulling out Better Half and blasting the fucker.

He chose this.

He _**CHOSE**_ this.

While everyone that ever gave a shit about him was staying up day and night worrying about his safety, he was running around Tokyo doing whatever the fuck he wanted. He probably thinks this is some kind of game, some huge practical joke! Maybe he doesn't even think the others are worried about him. Hell, he probably didn't even care.

Despite being laser focused on him the entire time, as Emi got to a street corner, Maou was gone, swallowed up by a sea of people.

"THIS ISN'T FUNNY ANYMORE!" She shouted. "COME BACK HOME YOU ASSHOLE!"

She looked around. He had to be around here. Somewhere. Anywhere.

She gritted her teeth. Her hands were shaking.

"Why are you doing this?" She whispered, tears falling down her face. "Why are you doing this to me..."

Emi realized she was attracting a crowd. Wiping the tears away, she quickly went back the way she came.

* * *

"Hello?" Alciel's voice responded from the other side of the phone.

Part of her wanted to tell him so badly. Of the coward devil that had run from her. The devil that had just disregarded them.

But as she moved her lips, Emi felt a sickly feeling in the pit of her stomach. She couldn't tell him. There was something about just how hopeful Alciel was of Satan's innocence that she just couldn't move herself to do it. Besides, telling him now when she had no proof would only lead to more trouble than what it was worth. Maou was the one responsible for this. He can answer for all of this. And he would. Oh, Emi swore on her life that he was going to _pay_ for this one. But as for now, she had to deal with Alciel.

"Alciel, give Lucifer the phone. I need to talk to him about...computers."

"Alright. Urushihara, take the phone. It's Emi."

"What do you want, Emi?" Lucifer asked.

"Try to get Alciel in the shower," Emi said. "This needs to stay between the two of us."

"Are you ser-"

"Don't give it away, you dolt!" Emi hissed. "Just do it!"

"Alright. Fine." Lucifer put down the phone and sniffed the air. "Hey, Alciel, do you smell something?"

"No?" Alciel sniffed around. "Um, what am I supposed to be sniffing for?"

"Hold on..." Lucifer walked up to Alciel and sniffed him. He then

"Dude, you smell terrible. When was the last time you took a bath?"

"Huh. I didn't notice any odor on me. I suppose I'll go shower."

"Make sure to get underneath your armpits!" Lucifer said as Alciel stepped into the bathroom.

"Alright, he's gone," Lucifer said. "First Rika, now you. So, what do you want to talk about?"

"Wait, Rika called you today, about what?" Emi asked.

"Rika called me today... she thinks Maou might be dead."

"Dead?! Are you serious?"

"Yeah."

"Well she's a normal person, she doesn't know any better," Emi said. "I mean, I'm gonna kill him after what I went through today, so technically she's right.

"Wait, what happened today?"

"Oh, I just chased Sadou Maou through Tokyo today. Nothing special."

"Wait, you SAW him?!"

"In the flesh! Smoking a cigarette and carrying a briefcase. Oh, and he has a shitty beard now, so I guess that's a thing."

"...Are you sure that was Satan?"

"Yes, it was him! We made eye contact and everything! He ran from me on sight!"

"But this is too much, Emi. Maybe someone did something to him."

"No, he was perfectly under his free will. He's just an asshole."

"Emi, don't tell me you're not at least _considering_ other reasons for this."

"He's the fucking Devil. I think he can handle himself in a fight. You're not thinking straight. You're just like Alciel. You don't want to admit the truth. You know, after a few months of being on Earth, I actually kinda warmed up to Maou, you know? For a second, I thought Satan could be an actual decent person."

"All I'm saying is that this thing sounds kinda sketchy and random. Maou does things for reasons. He moves with purpose. There's a motive for this and we need to figure it out."

"Lucifer, think about it. If someone went after Maou and managed to kidnap him, they would have to be angels. And if they were angels, they would want Better Half. So why not just come get me?"

"Good, we came to the same conclusion," Lucifer said. "If we're being attacked, someone is taking their sweet ass time doing it."

"Yeah. But if that was Maou today, I want to know what he's up to. At least he's still in Tokyo and not halfway across in planet in Greenland or someplace.."

"What if that wasn't Maou but a... a clone or something?" Lucifer speculated.

"It was him, alright? Next time I'll catch the bastard and I'll prove it." Emi growled. "I'm heading home, call me if anything new turns up, okay?"

"You got it, Hero. Over and out."

As Emi hung up, Lucifer turned back to his computer. "Might as well catch up on my emails."

Checking his email account, a message immediately caught his eye. It had only been sent to him an hour ago. 'MAKE SURE YOU ARE ALONE WHEN READING THIS!' Lucifer read out.

He rolled his eyes. "Whatever. Why the hell didn't this go to spa-

Lucifer read the sender's name. His heart skipped a beat. He looked over his shoulder, before remembering Alciel was still in the shower.

Hand trembling, Lucifer opened it. "No. Fucking. Way..."

 _It's me._ _We need to talk._


	6. In Which The Devil's Friends Go Out II

Suzano came into Devil's Castle for some morning breakfast. "Good morning Urushihara. Good morning Ashiya." She said.

"Mornin' Suzano." Urushihara raised his coffee cup and tipped it in greeting.

"Ahh, there you are. Good morning Suzano," Ashiya said. "Your breakfast is coming momentarily."

"Thank you, Ashiya," She nodded and sat down. "He's looking better than before." She whispered to Urushihara.

"And I am appreciating every second of it." Urushihara slowly drank some of his coffee, taking his time and appreciating every single second of flavor.

"Here you go you two!" Ashiya laid down their breakfasts. Fluffy, thick toast with butter, ham and eggs, and a green salad. Ashiya also brought Suzano a cup of coffee.

"This looks great Ashiya. Thanks man!" Urushihara said.

"Suzano took a bit of egg. "It's delicious!"

"Aw, you two are gonna make me blush," Ashiya said.

"Have you asked what got into him?" Suzano asked Urushihara.

"Honestly, I see this happiness as so fragile and temporary, if I make any move on it it's going to collapse like a Jenga tower. So I'm just going to enjoy it for as long as it lasts. Let his mirth flow out uninterrupted."

"Alright. If you think that's the best course of action." Suzano said.

"Hey guys, I'm going to go change in the bathroom, then going out for a run. Do either of you want to join me?"

"I mean, it's going to take a while for me to digest my food, but maybe Urushihara could do it?" Suzano said.

"Yeah, I'll go with you Ashiya, just let me eat first, okay?"

"Sure! I'll be getting changed." Ashiya ducked into the bathroom.

"Why did you have to put me on the spot like that?" Urushihara asked, annoyed.

"Oh come on! Do something nice! It's for Ashiya! He needs his friends right now."

"Yeah but, _exercise,_ " Urushihara shuddered. "All that smell and sweat. Ew no Urushihara no likey."

"You can take some time out of your day for a run," Suzano said. "Come on, it's not gonna kill you."

"Ugh, I guess," Lucifer said. "Anyways, Suzano, you want to do a movie tonight?" Urushihara asked.

"A movie?" She repeated. "Correct me if I'm wrong, but can't you watch movies on your computer at any time? We can watch it after you get back from your run."

"Yeah, but I was talking about a movie theatre. They show movies on a giant screen. I got these two tickets for tonight at 8 for More: Ragnarocks. I already asked Ashiya if he wanted to go, but he said no, so I was wondering if you wanted to do it."

"I don't mind going." She said, finishing off her breakfast.

"Great," He finished off his food. "Something I should mention, you really shouldn't wear a kimono inside a theatre. They can be kinda dirty." He drank the last of his coffee. "Okay, gonna do this stupid run, see you later."

"Later." Suzano put her plate in the sink and walked out of Devil's Castle.

* * *

"Break time," Emi said, looking out the window. No way that coward Maou would show his face anyway in a 10-kilometer radius after yesterday. Not even worth trying to look for him. "Let me call Suzano," She reached for the phone. "See what she's doing."

"Hello?" Suzano said.

"Suzano, it's me. I didn't get a chance to talk to you yesterday, so I wanted to see what's up."

"Nothing really. Urushihara and I and going to see a movie tonight."

"Oh, you're going to watch something with Ashiya tonight? Sounds fun. I might swing by and check it out."

"No, Urushihara said he only had two tickets. And it would be to like a... theatre. Whatever that is."

Suzano heard a loud snap come from the phone. "Emi? Emi are you okay?"

Emi sat frozen in her seat, holding a pen broken in half and ink quickly spilling on the floor. Not that Emi realized that, trying to process what Suzano just said. _A date. Lucifer asked Suzano on a date._

"EMI!" Suzano shouted, reaching for her hammer.

"I-I-I-I'm fine, Suzano." Emi said. "It's just that, I think you need to be careful when you're with Luci-Hazno, tonight."

"Well, he did say it was going to be dirty in there, so I'm going to have to go shopping for something casual later."

"I'll join you when I get off work," Emi said. "By the way, how did these turn of events come to exist?"

"He just asked me if wanted to go, and I said yes." Suzano's tone started to emit worry. "Was it a trick? Did I make a mistake?"

 _Lucifer just asked a girl out. Just straight up out of nowhere. What. The. Shit._

"I think you made a terrible mistake, but at least you let me know about it." Emi took a deep breath. "Suzano, this is a date. You're going on a date with Urushihara."

"Date? As in romance?"

"Yeah."

"So you think Lucifer likes me?" Suzano said.

"Well, the first thing you have to ask is if you like him," Emi said. _Please say no. Please say no. Please say no._

"Honestly, my thinking of Urushihara has gotten better recently," Suzano said. "Ever since the Devil left, Hanzo has been doing his best to keep Ashiya happy. I appreciate his loyalty and ability to keep himself together. If he's really interested in me... I'd be willing to give him a chance."

Emi couldn't believe what she was hearing. _This just keeps getting worse..._ "Listen!" She shouted into the phone. "He just wants to get in your pants, and with Satan gone and Alciel distracted, he's making a move. That little creep."

"'Get in my pants'?" Suzano repeated.

"That means he just wants to rip your panties off and fu-" Emi paused as she saw her supervisors approaching, and realized there was a bunch of ink spilled on her and the floor. "I'll call you back Suzano. Don't worry, we're gonna turn this around on him. I gotta go. I'll see you when I get off work."

"If you say so. See you soon Emi." Suzano hung up, and Emi got to focus all of her energy on not getting fired and cleaning up before break time was over.

* * *

Emi knocked on the door to Suzano's apartment. "Suzano, it's me!"

"One second please." Suzano came out, and to Emi's great relief, Lucifer didn't seem to be around.

"Where's Urushihara?" Emi asked, trying to figure out how much time they had to form a plan.

"He went running with Alciel this morning, they haven't come back yet."

"Oh okay. Wait, did you say morning?" Emi asked. "It's the middle of the afternoon now."

"Yes, they haven't been back for a few hours, Wait, that's Alciel right there."

 _Oh for fuck's sake._ Emi turned around disgusted. _They just have to show up when I get here-_

Alciel was jogging down the street, carrying what looked like to be Urushihara on his shoulder.

"Hi Ashiya," Emi said, slightly nervous seeing the demon rain massive amounts of sweat off of his body. His clothes were absolutely drenched. "How was your run?"

"It went great!" Ashiya said with a smile. "I had a wonderful time."

"What-uh, what happened to Urushihara?" Suzano asked.

"He got tired on the way back from Yokohama, so I just carried him for a while." Ashiya walked up the steps. "Let me just get him in his box, and we can talk."

"No, go ahead and take a break, just sit down and relax. Suzano and I were just about to go out anyway."

"Do I mind if I join you? I can make a quick shower and-"

"This is a girl thing if you don mind," Emi said quickly.

"Oh, I completely understand. Welp, see you guys later!" Alciel walked back into Devil's Castle.

"How far away is Yokohama from Tokyo again?" Suzano asked. "I remeber that being rather a ways off from here."

"I think only a 45-minute drive," Emi replied.

"So, what must that be like _running_? And then run _back?_ " Suzano realized.

"At least Ashiya's happy about it." Emi shrugged. "That's all that really matters."

"He's running off the stress that Maou's disappearance is giving him. That's why he was in such a good mood this morning!" Suzano said. "At this rate, he's going to run himself to death!"

 _He'll die with the strongest calves ever,_ Emi thought _. Those things could probably crush boulders._ She remembered the task at hand. "Well, assuming Urushihara gets up to go to this movie, you still need clothes and knowledge of how to protect yourself from him. Come on, let's go."

They started to walk to the mall. "Emi, are you really sure Urushihara is as bad as you say? He might be a NEET but he does not seem like a pervert."

"Look, you never know what's he's going to do next. He just does whatever he wants and makes us clean up the mess.

As they reached the mall, Suzano thought of something. "If you think trouble is going to happen, do you mind watching my back while we're on this date?"

"Sure. That's a great idea! I'll try to get a ticket. The theatre is only a block or two away. I'll be back. Listen, all you need is a T-shirt and jeans." She got out her purse and gave a little money to Suzano.

Emi walked up to the counter. "Hello, can I get a ticket to the Moor: Ragnarocks flick at 8?"

"Sorry, ma'am. No more tickets." The clerk said.

"What do you out of tickets?!" Emi said. This was _not_ the plan.

"This is a very popular movie, ma'am. We sold out several days ago."

"But I need that ticket!" Emi smashed her first on the counter. "My friend is-

"Ma'am, we understand your desire to watch the movie, but I am going to have to call security on you."

"You are making a huge mistake!" Emi growled as she saw security come toward her. Recalling the bowling alley, she decided it wasn't worth it. "I'll be back!" She stomped off fuming.

"I got the clothes!" Suzano said, before seeing Emi's enraged face. "What happened?"

"I didn't get the tickets," Emi said, grumbling. "I'll just have to figure out a way to sneak in..."

"Emi, I can take care of myself. Please don't get arrested." Suzano quickly said. "Now that you alerted me, nothing is going to happen. Just tell me a few warning signs on a movie date."

"I... actually don't know. I've never been on a date to one of these movies."

"You haven't?

"But I've done dating before, okay? I mean, there were suitors for the knight that possessed Better Half, so I've been on a few dates, but I never gave any of them a second thought."

"So you and Maou didn't go on a movie date?" Suzano asked. "Huh. Alright then, if you say so."

"No, we never-" Emi paused, narrowing her eyes. "Hold on. Why would you assume we went on a date?"

Suzano thought fast. "Because you just seemed so knowledgeable on movie dates that I thought you spoke from experience."

"Well no. I just watch TV." Emi said. "Let's just get back to your apartment so you can get ready."

Suzano breathed a sigh of relief as Emi turned her back to her and walked away. _Oh thank God, she actually bought that._

* * *

"So Emi, be honest, do I look good in this?" Suzano examed herself in the mirror. She was wearing a green T-shirt and jeans. "This is pretty unusual for me."

"You look fine," Emi said. "Just remember what we talked about?"

"At the slightest advance, break his arms."

"Good, you've got it." Emi gave her the thumbs up.

A knock came to the door to her apartment. "Suzano, it's Urushihara. You ready?"

"Knock 'em dead, sister," Emi said. "Quite literally, if need be."

Opening the door, Suzano saw that Urushihara was wearing a long-sleeved black shirt with a purple vest. "Wow," Urushihara said in surprise.

"What do you mean 'wow'?" Suzano gave him a look of suspicion.

"It's just that, I forgot what you looked like without a kimono on, is a-"

Emi slammed the door in his face. "You see what I mean?" she said.

"Oh, I totally get it now," Suzano said.

"Are you sure you want to go out with him? You totally don't have to if you don't want to."

"I do want to see a film on a big screen. Don't worry, you can trust me."

Emi nodded. "Be back as soon as possible. Have fun."

Emi opened the door again, revealing Urushihara's dumbstruck face. _It's just gonna be one of those days._ "Uhhhhh, after you, Suzano."

"Whatever, let's just go," Suzano said, walking past him.

"What did you say to her?" Hanzo said to Emi. "She was just fine this morning."

"I just made sure your pervert ass wouldn't try anything funny," Emi responded triumphantly. "Now go. Your date is waiting."

Hanzo now had two reasons to grimace as he grabbed the stairs' railing and walked down. _Ow. Ow. Ow. Ow. Ow. Note to self: never go running with Ashiya again. Ow. Ow. Ow. Ow._

Walking through the street to the theatre, Lucifer noticed a Daiso coming up. "Hey Suzano, wait a second. Let's get some snacks from the Daiso."

"Why can't we get them at the theatre?" Suzano asked.

"Because movie candy costs more than my laptop," Urushihara said. "Like Jesus Christ, I'm a demon and I don't rip people off that bad."

"Okay, let me just get my mon-" She quickly realized she hadn't brought any money with her. She and Emi were too busy focusing on chokeholds.

"It's fine. I've got like 2000 yen." Hanzo pulled the money out of his pocket and put it into her hand. "Do you mind going in there? You can get whatever you want. I just need some skittlers or caramel. I'm going to go sit on that bench over there and enjoy my legs not screaming in agony for a couple of seconds."

"...Thanks." Suzano turned around and walked away.

"Wait a sec." Urushihara grabbed her arm just as she was about to step inside. Suzano balled her fist and turned around to swing...

"I forgot to mention, I was actually gonna use the leftover money to buy some food after the movie, so don't spend too much of it here," Hanzo said.

"Oh...right." Suzano let her fist fall back down to her side.

* * *

"You know Ashiya, Suzano and Lucifer aren't the only ones can be doing something tonight." Emi said on the phone.

"What do you have in mind?"

"Rika wanted to watch TV and play a couple of party game at her place. Ever play HITOTSU?"

"Sounds interesting."

"Chiho is on her way too. That way we can have team matches, or double up for other games."

"I'm on my way," Ashiya replied. "See you."

He hung up, and quickly got a piece of paper and a pen. _I'll leave a note for Urushihara to see once he gets back._

* * *

"Okay, not gonna lie," Hanzo said walking out of the theatre giggling. "'Get Help' was a masterpiece of a scene."

Suzano broke out into a heap of laughter. "You are 100% right. You know, everything about the Phenomenal Shulk makes me happy."

"Same. The Ragnorocks twist was amazing."

Hanzo heard his stomach growling. "How much money do we have left?"

Suzano reached into her pocket. "Hmmm...about 1400 yen."

"How about we get some pizza?"

"Sure."

The two walked around until they saw a Pizza Shack. "Let's see what they have... shit," Hanzo said. "1500 yen for a medium."

Suzano looked around. "There is a supermarket down the street. We can get some microwaveable pizza pretty cheap."

"Great idea. Wait, aren't they closing right about now?"

"If we run, we might make it, let's go?" Grabbing Hanzo's arm, the two ran down the block to the supermarket inside. _Ow. Ow. Ow. Ow. Ow._ Lucifer thought. _I really wish I wasn't running right now...but shit, I want pizza._

"Teriyaki chicken pizza sounds good to you?" Suzano said, holding a box of it up.

"Great. Let's justs get to the register."

The two made it outside, one of the clerks turning the sign from OPEN to CLOSED right as they stepped out.

"We pulled it off," Hazo said, holding his bag of frozen pizzas victoriously. "I can't wait to eat them."

"We're down to a couple of coins left," Suzano said. "So I guess we can't get anything else.

"Oh, this is fine enough. Let's just get back to the apartment." Hanzo said. "You wanna watch another movie with Moor in it?"

"There's MORE?" Suzano replied excitedly.

"They have an entire Marvelous Cinematic Universe," Urushihara replied. "I can stream a movie on my laptop when we get back."

"Then what are we waiting for? Let's go!"

"Hey, my feet still hurt!" Hanzo whined. "Wait, wha-"

Suzano picked him up and carried him princess-style as she ran back to the apartment. "Thanks." Hanzo squeaked out, a tad bit embarrassed."

Reaching Devil's Castle, Hanzo saw a note taped to the front door. _Out tonight. At Rika's with the others. - Alciel._

"Okay, he's not in there, let me just take care of the lock." Using a small amount of magic, Lucifer picked the lock and let himself inside, getting his laptop and charger.

"I'll go take care of the pizzas," Suzano said, walking into her apartment.

"What movie do you want to watch?" Hanzo asked.

"How about the first Moor?"

"Sure, coming right up." Hanzo easily found a stream of it online.

"Now all we have to do is wait for these pizzas to warm up," Suzano said, looking at microwave impatiently.

"Yeah, let me cut out the lights," Hanzo said. "Sorry about my laptop BTW. I just hate having to go from a movie theatre to my tiny ass screen."

"No, it's fine. Better than not watching at all." Suzano got her blanket. "Lay on this. It's comfier than the floor."

"And a box," Hanzo muttered, settling down.

The hum of a microwave took over the apartment for a second. Cheesy goodness wafted floated in the air. Hanzo looked at the screen in anticipation. Despite whatever Emi told her, Suzano chilled out while watching the movie. He actually had a really good time, and he was glad that Suzano managed to let herself have a good time too. Alciel wasn't sulking in the apartment alone, something Hanzo was worried about. He was actually out, away from the apartment. And if he was at Rika's, that could lead to some interesting developments... _Thank God for small miracles._ He thought.

"So...why do you think King Satan hasn't come back yet?"

He snapped out of it, looking at Suzano. "I'm sorry, what?"

"Satan, he's been gone for a while now," she said. "I was just thinking about why."

He shrugged. "Who knows? He's always marched at the beat of his own drum."

"So, this is normal for him?"

"I wouldn't say that." Lucifer hesitated, thinking for a second. "You know, Maou didn't talk always tell everyone about this, but when he talked to me, one of the most common words he always said, was 'better'. How he wanted to be better. How he wanted to make things better. Looking back now, I think that this world is part of the better he always dreamed of, but never got the chance to make, never really knew how to make it."

"So now that he finally settles here, he leaves?"

"Ehh, he's the Devil, maybe he's just sightseeing. He'll be back." Hanzo said.

"So what do you think of this world? Compared to Ente Isla. Would you ever want to go back?"

Lucifer didn't even have to think about it. "I never want to go back. I mean, just tonight we're gonna watch some movies and eat pizza. And hell, we're _poor_. Imagine if we were rich or even middle class."

"I suppose you're right," Suzano replied a dreary tone lingering in her voice.

"There's no one or nothing worth going back to see, at least for me. What about you? Any family, friends?"

"My family's dead, and my 'friends' are running a corrupt theocracy that has the land in a vice grip, and even worse, are backed by divine beings. I'm fine here as well."

Lucifer could feel the small amount of despair emanating off of Suzano. While the uptick in power felt nice, getting it off of Suzano felt...dirty. Time for a subject change. "Question: If you could spend the rest of your life here, just completely at peace, with no risk of anything from Ente Isla coming at you, what would you do?"

"Hmm, I don't know, actually," Suzano realized. "I've just been taking it one day at a time for now. With the whole Devil disappearance, I haven't given the future much thought. I suppose it would be interesting to do things with those televisions and movie screens. Entertain people."

"Cool," Lucifer said. "I'm sure you could be great at it."

Suzano turned away, blushing just a little. "What about you, Lucifer? Do you have anything you want to seek out here on Earth?"

"Honestly, as long as I got a place to sleep, food to eat, and a computer with Wifi, I'm good, Suzano. I'm good. Just shooting the shit out of everyday life with people I can trust."

"'Shooting the shit'?"

"It's an expression. It means to just...talk about anything, really."

"Are we 'shooting the shit' right now?"

"I mean kinda, I guess."

"Well Urushihara, I would love to shoot your shit anytime."

"...Thanks."

BEEP! BEEP! BEEP!

"Ooh, the pizzas are done!" Suzano walked to the microwave.

"Finally, I'm starving!" Hanzo said. "Anything to drink?"

"There are a couple of sodas in the fridge," Suzano called out, trying to handle the hot pizza.

"Thanks." Hanzo got them and got back down on the blanket.

"Here you go!" Suzano placed a plate of steaming pizza in front of him. "Let's get started!"

Hanzo smiled, clicking play. _Perfect._

* * *

The alarm rang out in the air.

Lucifer opened his eyes, snapping to attention. The monitor was turned away from him, the dim light reflecting off the wall. The alarm was tuned to a frequency so high that a human couldn't possibly hear it.

Lucifer held his hand up. Gathering whatever magic he could, he cast a spell of silence in the apartment. As he was about to get up, he felt a weight on his body. _What the-_

Suzano had an arm laid an arm across his chest. _OH SH-_

He realized she was still asleep. Her face was turned away from him.

Levitating her arm up, he slowly put it at her side. She gave a small mumble but stayed asleep.

Lucifer barely dared breathe. Even with the spell of silence, who knew how little it took to wake up a top assassin of the Church.

Caaaaaaaarefully stepping over the plates and empty soda cans, he went to his computer, he checked the coordinates and the time. 3 A.M. _30 minutes._

Not taking his eyes off of Suzano, Lucifer slowly opened the door his way across the apartment. _Alright._ he thought as he stepped outside of Suzano's apartment. His black wings spread as he looked up at the dark sky.

 _Time to go see Satan._


End file.
